Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Ha ha! [laughs]. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Steve Urkel: Whoa. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Steve is the perfect son. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? There's room for you and there's room for me although let's be quite honest, you take up a lot more room than me. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. She just slipped and I caught her. Steve Urkel: Why? She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Pick a general observation about her personality. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Do these guys have game? and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, now Harriette, that's a bit harsh. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Curtis: I know you're disappointed. So go ahead, FIRE ME! Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. When's it going to end? Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? What are you? Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Wha? 4 Mar. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Will you marry me? Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. You kissed me. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [after pulling his underpants out of his jeans] Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts? He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? I'm getting dizzy. Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! Harriette: I don't know. Harriette: Who cares? Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? You're setting a bad example for the kids. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. I wanna read it to my mom. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. THIS? Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. They're disgusting. Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. I-I-I see. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. One minute, "Moo!" There is no Steve here. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. How about the next round we switch colors? Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Waldo, you may go now. Now hit the sack. Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Finally, one rainy day, I walked in dripping wet, and that same man that pushed me out, shook his head and gave me a library card. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Stupid? Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act! Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Get down from there! Ms. Steuben: All right, class. My head pops out! Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. [steps on the gas]. [kisses Laura] Love you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Who? Look I clued everybody in. [stares at the racist cop] Black. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Nobody threatens my woman! Laura Lee Winslow: No! Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Steve Urkel: King me. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. 7. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Harriette: Don't even think like that. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. You can do it! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Carl: This baby has a remote. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Upload. Money has germs on it. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? Let eserviate on the bright side. Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. I'm drawn to you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! It's always tomorrow with that boy! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. We only have to make one quick delivery. No. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. He just told you to get lost. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Cool. Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Their own version of the 3 R's? Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. We're starved. What's up? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. You know what? Eddie: No, grandma. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Pull your gun right now. Urkel pronouns are the best. Carl: Rough. For that matter why isn't everybody? Wha? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. Harriette: Soon, baby. the signs as potential pick up lines from hamilton. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Whoo! [laughs] But you never smile! Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. You need to get out more. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! Does that about cover it? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? You have the right to have an attorney present. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Would you reward me with a kiss? And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. And what about the car show last Saturday? To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! [walks into the bathroom]. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? I was not abrasive. I'm on duty? This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. It's a "non-date". Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Steve Urkel: Really? Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Come here, let me give you some sugar. Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas. We are properly trained. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Three times X equals six. The next minute rump roast! [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. What is the value of X? Would you reward me with a kiss? Can you help me out?
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